Samantha De Bono Counselling Bromley

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Combat shouldism - feed your soul

By Samantha De Bono


Shouldisms are the perfect way to kill our souls. "I should, I must, I ought, I better…"  they make us feel we have to, that we have no choice, we are trapped and forced. No wonder they make us feel so bad. 

Of course there are things we have to do, like to pay our bills for example, because if we don't there are consequences. But not everything needs to go into the have to box. Not everything has terrible or negative consequences if we don't get round to doing it.

"I HAVE to clean the car". Do you?  Is there a terrible consequence if you don't? Or does the car just stay dirty for a bit longer?

We even say things like "I must catch up with my friends" - seriously!?  Damn!  That's a shitty life right there if you don't want to see your friends, but you must! Can you see how easy it is to get caught up in the 'shouldism' net?

Training your brain to see everything you do as a demand, will sap enjoyment from everything you do in no time at all. 

Positive thinking is the way out of this mind trap. Try to re-frame your thought process. Train yourself to recognise the difference between the things you must do and the things you want to do. Using the word want has a positive effect, using a shouldism does not! 

Combat shouldisms - feed your soul with a Positive mental attitude.