Samantha De Bono Counselling Bromley

Bromley & Harley Street

tel: 07588 931 401

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We Didn't Need Counselling in My Day...

by Samantha

When I was out last night, I got chatting to an older gentleman at my table who asked "why do people need counselling?" he then added "in my day we just got on with it."  It got me thinking that what people need today has changed compared to 'his day'.

Our need and opinion of a 'good life' keeps rising, where once having a colour TV was good enough, we now don't feel satisfied unless it's a top of the range plasma TV with all the bells and whistles. Designer clothing that not only adults hanker after, but that we want to dress our babies in, is becoming the 'norm'. A car that gets us from A to B isn't good enough, it's likely to make us feel that we've underachieved when we park it next to an elite car. All the time we demand a 'better way of life' and our psychological well-being is part of it.

Where once there was something called 'community support' we now watch mums struggling to manage without any help or support, elderly people alone without companionship, people turning a blind eye to the wayward behaviour of the youngster next door, small businesses pushed aside to make way for the conglomerates', gone are the extended family and the neighbourhood where everyone knew each other and felt a part of something and with it has gone the intimate person-to-person support that was such a strong feature of our social groupings. Just because it's gone, doesn't mean it's not needed.

I think it's safe to say that years ago, people weren't as clued-up to psychology and the psychological traumas people suffer with as we are today. For example, Post Traumatic Stress Disorder suffered by soldiers in WWI was known as shell shock and not given the consideration it deserved, in fact, it is widely known now that soldiers back then affected by 'shell shock', chanced being shot for being a coward and in WWII, although it was becoming recognised as a condition, soldiers were still likely to be considered weak or cowardly. Thank goodness that nowadays we have a far greater understanding of psychological suffering.

Young people sit at their PS4's or their Xbox sharing nothing but their score with a stranger in China, parents feel too overwhelmed by the demands of work and home life to restrict the time their children spend glued to a TV or computer monitor and too exhausted to talk to each other about it.

All counselling approaches serve to fill the void in modern life, it offers the hope of rediscovering or renewing a real connection. It's also worth remembering that counselling isn't only for unhappy people, it also serves to redress work-life balance, it gives us a greater, clearer understanding of ourselves and others, the dynamics in relationships and how we deal with them and it helps us build skills to use without the need of counselling in the future..... so that we can "just get on with it." ;)